Hi, I'm Julie

[aggressively thinks about having sex with you while keeping a straight face]


If someone calls you ‘ugly’ have a good comeback and say ‘excuse me, I am not a mirror’. 


I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x prettier.

"Yeah, I hate that kid too”
— me as a high school guidance counselor (via matthewsagan)

*unbaes you*


If I go missing, use the selfie that has the most notes on it